Living in Thailand isn’t just about sandy beaches, spicy som tams, and budget-friendly massages. Sometimes, it’s also about not getting bitten, stung, or stared down by something that slithers. Over the years, I’ve had a few close encounters with Thailand’s wilder residents. Here’s a roundup of my top “I nearly soiled myself” moments.
The Pit Viper in the Garden
It started like any normal day: I was doing a spot of gardening at my house in Bangkok, probably muttering about weeds and pretending I knew what I was doing. I bent down near my beloved cha-om plant when I noticed something move just inches from my head. I turned slightly, and there it was—a bright green snake, triangular head, chilling like it owned the place.
I’m 90% sure it was a pit viper. Venomous, but thankfully uninterested in my sweaty, bumbling presence. I slowly backed away like I’d just seen my ex at Tesco and decided that maybe the weeds could stay another day.
The Mystery Snake of Plastic Park
Another day, another slither. This time I was walking through what’s locally called “Plastic Park” near a university—named, I assume, for its oddly artificial vibe and not because everything there is made of plastic. Suddenly, I felt something brush around my feet. I looked down expecting grass. Nope—long, thick, and green again. A snake.
No idea what kind. I didn’t stop to ask.
Scorpion vs. Kitten: The Loei Showdown
Then there was the time I was eating at Khun Yai’s in Loei, enjoying some delicious northern Thai grub. I felt a familiar brush against my foot and assumed it was the playful little kitten I’d been petting earlier.
Wrong. Black scorpion. Just chilling at my feet, casually reminding me who really owns Thailand.
Before I could even react, the kitten—hero that it is—pounced in and went full gladiator mode. Swipes, hisses, tail flicks—the works. The scorpion, clearly not ready for that level of drama, scurried away. Kitten: 1. Scorpion: 0. Me: traumatised, but weirdly entertained.
The Cobra in the Toilet
Ah yes, the crown jewel of my Thai wildlife encounters.
I was on a bus from Bangkok to Nakhon Sawan. Routine stuff. We made a pitstop at one of those classic roadside restaurants in Saraburi. I had a quick meal, then headed to the loo for a tactical toilet break.
Mid-piss, I noticed movement in the corner. Looked down—cobra. In striking position. I didn’t wait for the Google Translate pronunciation guide. I leapt back while still peeing, spraying like a busted fire hose. Pride? Dignity? Gone. Survival mode: activated.
After composing myself (barely), I dashed out, jumped on my phone to look up the Thai word for cobra (งูเห่า, in case you’re wondering), and informed the staff. Their response was somewhere between “Oh no!” and “Yeah, that happens.”
The Wild Side of the Land of Smiles
Thailand is full of beauty, culture, amazing people—and yes, wildlife that keeps you on your toes (and occasionally off the toilet). While these encounters might sound terrifying, they’re part of what makes life here so real. It’s a place where nature is never too far away, even if that nature sometimes wants to bite you.
So if you’re thinking of moving here or just visiting, remember: watch your step, check the bushes, and always keep an eye on the toilet floor.
Have you had your own wild encounters in Thailand? Share them in the comments—or at least tell me I’m not the only one who’s peed mid-air.
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